I’ve been sporting the short natural look for a long time now, but I’ve wanted to make a change. Since my plans eventually include me moving to Japan, I thought it would make sense for me to start learning how to apply relaxers to my own hair… to do it myself. It is kinda tough to find someone that can work with black hair over there… Of course, I’m not messing with any lye-based products, so I’d been using no-lye relaxers and texturizers. The last 2 times I did it just to see how it worked out, and I did just fine. I missed a couple of spots and had some tufts of not quite soft enough hair, but I could live with it. It was only an experiment; if I didn’t like it, I’d just wait a week or two and shave it off — no fuss, no muss. However, yesterdays go at my hair didn’t come out quite so well.
I bought a no-lye relaxer with extra natural extracts like aloe and shea, and followed the instructions verbatim. I did have more hair this time around, so I don’t know if that was a factor in the end result. When I washed it out and neutralized everything, things did not come out quite right. At first, most of my hair appeared straight. Then I reached for the back of my head and there were these two tufts of incomplete hair sticking out, still looking kinda kinky. Mind you, I checked every inch of my hair to make sure it was covered, so these little rogue hair poofs made absolutely no sense. Granted, I’m not the best one to describe these hair sort of things much less fixing them. Since I had to go out last night, I had to do quick damage control since the hair didn’t want to stay flat, so I picked up some gel at CVS. While that was a band-aid on an otherwise huge wound (one I didn’t even know about), it sufficed and managed to look okay.
(As a side note: I look cute with straight hair. I want the bang look that I had last night. ^_^ Very Asian, as someone told me last night.)
The problem is this morning: I woke up to feel a section of my head scabbed over. It had burned and even when I neutralized it, I hadn’t felt it. You usually feel it when the skin is exposed, but I don’t know why I didn’t this time around. On top of it all, when I went to wash out the gel from my hair, my whole head exploded and felt like it was on FIRE. When I say fire, dear God, I mean blazing, third level of hell inferno racing across my scalp.
So I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to do (while I stave off a massive headache). I have no choice but to let it grow out over the next few weeks and then shave it off. The burned portion of my head has to heal and that’s going to take about 2 weeks. It’s not gonna look nice, but I just can’t… But in the meantime, what in the world am I gonna do with my head? I don’t have the foggiest idea.
Remind me never to putz around with chemicals ever again? Really? Please, somebody? *shakes head*
I’ve been thinking a bit about Valentine’s Day, and I realize that I basically feel the same way I’ve felt for years. For those in romantic relationships, if you haven’t been loving the person you’re with all year long, one day out of the year really won’t make much difference. I wish some people would get that!
Being that I’m single this year, for lots of singles it can be a bit of a trial (myself included!). You can be out in the street and see couples of all sorts being lovey dovey and such; it can eat at you a bit. Still, I think that singles should shift the focus from the need to being with someone to using that energy on loving yourself and those around you.
I’m a big fan of the “I HEART ME” movement. If you don’t love yourself, how can you possibly love others? It reminds me of that m-flo song “Love or Truth” — “I gotta love myself before I love others…” I am spending my time loving myself, developing myself, taking care of myself. I am spending my time loving my mother and my friends. Tomorrow for instance, I’m taking some friends and my mom out for a nice lunch on City Island to engage with some seafood.
(Pardon all my British sounding phrases — been watching LOTS of Doctor Who and Torchwood lately!)
Anyway, that’s the thing. It is wonderful to be in love and TO love. And in the same token, it’s alright if it isn’t there. There’s so much that each individual person can contribute to each other and to the world. I would say in Japanese that “ai is ai” and “koi is koi”… “suki is suki”. No matter what, love is love, no matter what form it takes and who the recipient is.
Valentine’s Day is all backward. It shouldn’t be JUST for romantic relationships. It should be a celebration of love for all relationships: friends, romantic, family. I love the friends in my life and I love my mom. And I love the opportunities that are ahead of me which, because I love me, arise.
And yes, call it self-centered if you wish, but I DO love me. 
February 13th,2010
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I’m about to recount my experience with the Paragard IUD. The following will have some graphic details about some of the issues I’ve encountered during this process. Please remember that each woman’s experience with an IUD (or any birth control option for that matter) is completely subjective; my experience certainly may not end up being yours.
That said, some history:
I’ve been on some sort of birth control since I was 17. You could say I’ve tried it all: OrthoTriCyclen (two different versions), Seasonale (the 4 periods a year one), DepoProvera (ugh, don’t even get me STARTED on this one), LoetrinFE (I think that’s how its spelled, yet another pill)… and the Paragard IUD (the non-hormonal one). In making the decision to switch from Depo to the IUD, the choice was really simple. One, I didn’t (and still don’t) want to have any kids but my doc refuses to do anything permanent on me, which is rather disappointing. Two, Depo was killing me — my body was up and down, stopped bleeding altogether and I was basically unstable on several counts. Three, I’d been on hormones so long that I really wanted to give my body some sort of respite from all these drugs.
So, I went for the Paragard IUD. I got it inserted on October 1, 2008.
I knew what to expect: heavy bleeding for the first few months, but then it would subside into a normal period. There would also be occasional pain for the same time frame, but again it would fall into a regular cycle. None of this happened. The insertion itself was incredibly intense and painful; if that was what childbirth was like — or even close to it — then I’m glad I’ve made the decision I made. Thereafter, the first 4 months nothing happened. No bleeding, no pain post-insertion… nothing. I was lulled into a false sense of security because what was really happening was my body was getting rid of the Depo in my system (yes, it can last THAT long after the last injection, up to 6 months in some women). After the 4th month, I started bleeding again… and it simply didn’t stop. There was no 28 day cycle, something I hadn’t seen for almost 2 years between Depo and the IUD. It was constant — 25 out of 30 days of bleeding, which drained me and left me in a state I’d never experienced before. It affected my relationship with my then boyfriend (note the THEN part), my sex drive, even my appetite. How could a woman feel sexy in any way, shape or form when they were physically drained, had a low sex drive and couldn’t palate any kind of intimacy with blood in the way? I went to the doctor and told him what was happening, but he said sometimes it takes a while to plateau. He wanted me to monitor it for a couple of months and get back to him. At that time, he gave me Provera in the hopes of resetting my cycle and letting nature work itself out. I was dealing with my own issues at the time between work, school and my relationship… and I just let it go after a while. I accepted that this was the way it was going to be, that I would bleed like this and have shooting sharp pains.
It took about 10 months and the bleeding got down to 15 days out of 30. When I went back for my next checkup, doc still wasn’t happy to hear that I was still bleeding, so he put me on Doxycycline, an antibiotic to help with what he thought was an infection causing my bleeding issue. Even after taking it, it actually changed my 15 days back to 20, and I was not pleased about this turn of events. Then 2 months ago, as a last resort, he put me on pill birth control to see if he could coax my cycle into a regular pattern. I was supposed to take it for 3 months, but about a month ago, I started getting incredibly horrific pains, the kind that had me curling in my seat at work. I was self medicating with pain relievers on a daily basis. It simply wasn’t normal. I decided then that I had to take it out, I refused to go on like this.
The problem was, after taking all those things, I didn’t want to go back on the Pill (I can’t remember to take that sucker for my life) and the other options didn’t sit well with me. I’m not with anyone and not in any danger of pregnancy (for the obvious reason), so I didn’t mind not taking something for a while, but I needed an option.
Today, February 6th, I got my Paragard removed. It was no muss, no fuss actually. It’s weird — I feel good. I wonder if some of it was psychosomatic or if it was all due to that foreign device in my uterus. Whatever the origin, it is gone. Doc suggested NuvaRing, which I will try once I’m off the Provera to reset my cycle again.
This has been an incredible saga, and in the end it was almost all for nothing. I got it to prevent pregnancy and now I have no boyfriend to worry about that very issue. I bled and suffered through pain for no good reason it seems. I’m really disappointed that it didn’t work out. The IUD was perfect for someone like me that wanted a long-term solution — c’mon, what other method gives you 10 years of pregnancy protection? But alas, like I said at the beginning, everyone’s experience with these things is different. I guess my body is just more resistant to intruders.
I don’t mean to get so intimate per se, but I thought it would be important for others to know one side of the IUD experience. There’s a great community on LiveJournal that has a ton of information for anyone looking into getting an IUD implanted:
http://community.livejournal.com/iud_divas/
I hope that those reading this will take some parts of this experience and see how it relates to your own personal situation.
It’s coming down to the end of January 2010 now and I just wanted to have a look at where things currently stand. I’ve set out to accomplish a LOT this year, so I’ve gotta keep the pressure on. SO! What have I done? (I have Within Temptation cranking in my head as I wrote that.. *_*)
** I signed up to that gym closer to me. However I need better scheduling to get my butt there 3+ times per week. I’m knee-deep in stuff at work (January and February are notoriously busy), but I will renew my efforts to get that going. On the flipside, I have been eating well lately; had coffee only once, been eating much more veg and less fried stuff, so that’s good!
** The Japanese study is going a-okay. Starting this coming week, I’ll be going to a local meetup group where they have study sessions — it’s a few blocks from my job, so its really convenient. It will be nice to meet and practice with like-minded individuals toward the same goal. I definitely want to get that revved up! I’ve been chatting it up on Twitter a lot lately too; there’s lots of great resources and folks out there (I’m talking about you guys @Wendy_Tokunaga and @japanintercult ! Y’all are awesome.)
** My mom made the arrangements for the Aruba trip, so we are a GO! YAY! I’m so excited to be going to my mom’s birthplace. 
Trip after THAT is Japan… and you know how I feel about THAT. 
** While I’m not incurring any new credit card debt, I will be paying for my Lasik procedure, but you know what? It will be the best $4000 I ever spend. To be able to see without glasses? To wake UP and be able to see? OMG. Y’all better expect my phone call of wonder when the procedure is done and the aftermath hits me.
** I got a bit of a slap in the face recently, which really had me think about misconceptions. I’ve gotta be careful about the whole “passing judgment” thing. I don’t usually do it, but if I do, it can end up rather messed up. Good thing about me is that I immediately acknowledge my f-up, which in that case I did. But still, it left me with a nasty taste in my mouth… I will strive to be a much better person in light of this.
Ok, NOW that’s it. Let’s go February!
I was on Twitter and came across an interesting blog post here:
http://alatown.com/a-few-things-japan-could-teach-the-west-about
It got me to thinking: they REALLY need something like that here in the US! How awesome is it to have a real soaking bath, where you can sit neck deep without worrying about the water getting all over the floor? After all, it IS waterproof! Certainly, if I had my own house, it would be decked out Japanese-style. Give me the Toto toilet in a separate room. Give me a changing room where I can stash my washer/dryer combo and do the little face washing bit. And absolutely give me an all-in-one solution for my bathing needs.
To this day, I’m surprised that people don’t understand how to approach Japanese bathing style. Anyone that has watched anime or read a book about Japan should know this. But think about how incredibly nasty it is to “relax” in a tub and you’re still dirty. That’s disgusting.
So yeah, why aren’t there Japanese companies willing to do these kind of installs? Do they understand how much money they could make? There is a definite market for it, I’d say. With a little bit of press, they could potentially transform people’s experience of the bath. Honestly, I’ve talked about the Toto auto-toilet for going on 10 years now. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a hole in the wall Japanese import place that would do it out in Edgewater, NJ…
See what y’all started? *_*
January 10th,2010
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bath,
japanese,
toto |
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